


Excerpts from Block B's group chat

by cassiem



Category: Block B
Genre: Group chat, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6746449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiem/pseuds/cassiem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>an insight into the daily life of block b, told through their group chats</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "nothing gets me in the mood like ogeul ogeul"

**Author's Note:**

> i got super bored in my lecture on postmodernism in criminology and wrote this so
> 
> ya
> 
> enjoy

 

Taeil: they're at it again  
Jihoon: lol  
Jihoon: come over  
Jihoon: to get away from it  
Jaehyo: bang on the wall or something  
Taeil: i need to get something from my room  
Taeil: but i can't get in there  
Minhyuk: just go in  
Minhyuk: they won't notice  
Minhyuk: it's nothing we havent seen before anyway  
Taeil: gross  
Jihoon: bang on the door and tell them manager hyung is here  
Minhyuk: or just start playing ogeul ogeul over the dorm speakers that will stop them  
Yukwon: what if it just encourages them tho  
Taeil: christ

Kyung: nothing gets me in the mood like ogeul ogeul so I'm glad you didn't  
Taeil: stop  
Kyung: or when where what how  
Minhyuk: of course you would get off listening to your own songs  
Kyung: better than watching videos of myself dancing  
Minhyuk: wtf it was once  
Minhyuk: stop bringing it up  
Jiho: taeil hyung  
Jiho: if you play ogeul ogeul i will give you exactly one line in the next song  
Yukwon: oh god taeil hyung please don't  
Yukwon: i don't want to sing all your lines i will die  
Jaehyo: i can do it  
Kyung: no one asked you

//

Kyung: the dorm is so quiet now jihoonie has gone ㅠㅠ  
Taeil: that's a lie  
Taeil: you and jaehyo are always screaming at each other  
Kyung: well he has to learn  
Jaehyo: it was ONCE alright???? Just drop it  
Jihoon: wait what??? What am i missing out on?  
Jiho: probably nothing  
Minhyuk: nothing  
Yukwon: nothing  
Kyung: just more stories of Jaehyo's incompetence  
Jaehyo: i spilled milk on his laptop  
Jaehyo: and on the carpet  
Jaehyo: he seemed more upset about the carpet  
Kyung: because milk fucking smells if you don't clean it properly  
Taeil: like you can tell lmao the room smells like shit all the time  
Kyung: yeah it wafts over from your side  
Jihoon: so, nothing  
Jiho: told you

//

Kyung: anyone seen jiho lately  
Taeil: why are you asking us  
Taeil: he's your boyfriend  
Kyung: he's vanished again  
Yukwon: use your brain  
Yukwon: he never vanishes  
Minhyuk: yeah there's always one place where he is  
Kyung: JIHO  
Kyung: JIIIHOOOOOOO  
Taeil: stop  
Jihoon: he mutes this chat when he's working  
Yukwon: just go to the studio  
Kyung: but i'm not wearing pants  
Yukwon: ???????  
Yukwon: just put some fucking pants on and go check on him  
Kyung: i don't have any  
Jihoon: hyung how can you not have any pants  
Kyung: they're all in the wash  
Jihoon: all of them?!  
Kyung: yeah  
Kyung: i'll just borrow some of taeil hyung's  
Kyung :)  
Taeil: don't  
Taeil: don't borrow the nice ones  
Taeil: KYUNG  
Yukwon: he's gone  
Taeil: god damn it

//

Taeil: JIHOON  
Taeil: I'M GOING TO KISS YOU  
Taeil: I'M ON MY WAY OVER RIGHT NOW  
Kyung: wow, about time  
Kyung: jiho, pay up  
Jiho: fuck  
Jiho: i thought it'd never happen  
Yukwon: hahahahhaah  
Yukwon: HAAHAHHAHAH  
Jihoon: ...  
Jihoon: WHAT IS GOING ON?!  
Jihoon: Taeil hyung?????  
Minhyuk: prepare to be kissed  
Kyung: he's been preparing for years  
Jihoon: KENDOSKFN HYUNG PLS  
Jihoon: WHAT DO I DO  
Minhyuk: answer the door naked  
Jiho: with a rose in ur mouth  
Jihoon: hyungs :(  
Kyung: quick drive away  
Kyung: come over he just left  
Jihoon: KDKDKSJDIANJFKFNSKN

Taeil: kill  
Taeil: i meant  
Taeil: kill  
Taeil: fucking autocorrect  
Jiho: oh  
Kyung: oh  
Jiho: hahaha i don't have to pay up  
Yukwon: why are you killing him?  
Jihoon: oh  
Kyung: that was such a sad "oh"  
Kyung: poor jihoonie  
Kyung: you finally got his hopes up only to crush them a moment later  
Jihoon: no I mean  
Jihoon: oh  
Jihoon: i only found out because I kissed him  
Jiho: WHAT  
Yukwon: OH MY GOD  
Jihoon: I PANICKED AND DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO  
Kyung: rofl  
Jihoon: and he hit me :(  
Jihoon: and said "WHAT WAS THAT FOR I'M STILL ANGRY AT YOU"  
Jihoon: it was very confusing :(  
Jiho: poor jihoon  
Kyung: poor taeil

//

Jihoon: i’ve lost my headphones  
Jihoon: can I borrow someone’s?  
Kyung: I mean, Taeil isn’t home, so you could steal his  
Jihoon: i’m on my way  
Jaehyo: that’s so gross  
Kyung: ????????? they’re headphones who cares  
Jaehyo: I mean, there’s earwax in there  
Jaehyo: I love you guys  
Jaehyo: against my better judgement  
Jaehyo: but I don’t want to share bodily fluids  
Yukwon: I think that is technically a bodily solid  
Kyung: but you swapped spit with Jiho  
Jiho: leave me out of this  
Jiho: we were drunk  
Kyung: and you share drinks all the time  
Kyung: your argument is invalid  
Jaehyo: have I ever told you I hate you, park kyung?  
Kyung: every day  
Minhyuk: is it a solid though?  
Kyung: I take it as your way of saying ‘i love you’  
Kyung: since you’re emotionally constipated  
Yukwon: it’s not a liquid  
Jaehyo: I am not emotionally constipated  
Jaehyo: I just don’t feel like saying I love you to you assholes  
Taeil: but you just said it earlier  
Taeil: so which is it  
Taeil: HUH?  
Taeil: Jihoon don’t fucking touch my stuff  
Jihoon: hahahahaah  
Jihoon: thanks hyung they look good  
Taeil: I’m going to kick your ass  
Minhyuk: yeah but it’s not a solid either  
Jiho: god, shut up


	2. "someone isn't getting enough ass :-/"

 

Kyung: I can report, with confidence, that Jiho’s ass is bony  
Kyung: and not very comfortable to rest your head on  
Yukwon: I can report that none of us care  
Jaehyo: Minhyuk’s ass is better  
Jihoon: what  
Jaehyo: I’m just saying  
Jaehyo: it’s a very nice place to rest your head  
Yukwon: you know they have this new invention  
Yukwon: called pillows  
Yukwon: very comfortable  
Yukwon: and you don’t have to lie on anyone’s ass  
Jihoon: Yukwon hyung is savage today  
Jaehyo: someone isn’t getting enough ass :-/  
Jaehyo: wait  
Jaehyo: that came out wrong  
Yukwon: I’m showing sunhye this  
Jaehyo: sorry noona :(  
Jiho: Minhyuk hyung, Kyung  
Jiho: I say we conduct an experiment because I’m not buying the fact that my ass is bony  
Jaehyo: I want in  
Taeil: I leave the chat for five minutes and come back to this what the fuck  
Taeil: Minhyuk’s ass is nice though

//

Kyung: anyone wanna tell me why Taeil’s wandering around naked again  
Jiho: you’ve been living with him for how many years now  
Kyung: yeah ok  
Kyung: but why  
Taeil: it’s freeing you should try it  
Kyung: no thanks  
Jaehyo: Taeil don’t encourage him  
Jaehyo: he gets naked enough when Jiho comes round, we don’t need to see any more  
Kyung: is that a new tat  
Taeil: yes  
Taeil: want anything from the fridge?  
Jihoon: are you guys in the same room texting  
Jihoon: you should stop spamming the main group chat and make a dorm chat or something  
Kyung: AAAAAAAAAH MY EYES  
Kyung: HE JUST BENT OVER  
Jihoon: I’m so glad I moved out  
Jaehyo: don’t lie Jihoon  
Jaehyo: you used to stare at him all the time  
Jihoon: STOP  
Kyung: I’M SCARRED  
Jiho: put some clothes on hyung  
Taeil: ok :(

//

Jaehyo: Kyung’s been in the bathroom for like an hour  
Jaehyo: I’m worried  
Taeil: just go in  
Jaehyo: you do it  
Jiho: lmao  
Minhyuk: is he making noises?  
Yukwon: is he dead?  
Minhyuk: stay tuned to find out  
Jiho: he’s probably admiring himself in the mirror  
Jaehyo: I really gotta pee  
Jaehyo: I’m going in  
Jaehyo: oh he fell asleep in the bath  
Jiho: goD  
Jiho: he could have drowned what the fuck  
Jaehyo: no the bath is empty  
Jaehyo: taeil pls come help me lift him he’s too heavy  
Taeil: ok

//

Taeil: Jihoon’s apartment is so nice  
Jaehyo: hmmmmmm  
Taeil: what  
Kyung: why don’t you  
Jaehyo: move in with him  
Jihoon: hyungs please  
Taeil: how many times have you guys discussed it that you can say it in unison  
Jaehyo: enough  
Jiho: why don’t you move in with me Kyung?  
Jiho: instead of prodding Taeil to move out  
Jaehyo: i’m gonna go  
Jihoon: me 2  
Jiho: what?  
Jiho: Kyung?

//

Jaehyo created: Secret Dorm Friends  
Kyung: god could you get any lamer  
Taeil: yes he could  
Taeil: don’t test him  
Jaehyo: i thought it would be fun to have a group chat together  
Taeil: rofl  
Kyung: lmao  
Kyung: what are we even going to talk about?  
Kyung: groceries? cleaning? chores?  
Taeil: it’s not like it matters if we talk about chores, you won’t do them anyway  
Kyung: taeil hyung  
Jaehyo: oh he’s bringing out the hyung  
Kyung: jaehyo hyung  
Jaehyo: shit  
Kyung: I’ll do my chores the day that Taeil puts some clothes on and you stop bringing home stinky fish  
Taeil: so  
Jaehyo: never

//

Yukwon: have you guys noticed the chat got super quiet  
Yukwon: I think the dorm made a separate chat  
Jihoon: don’t you’ll jinx it  
Kyung: aw jihoonie don’t be mean  
Kyung: you miss us  
Jihoon: i do :(  
Jaehyo: you miss taeil not us  
Kyung: true  
Jihoon: guys please  
Jiho: they can’t stop themselves  
Jiho: it’s a romeo and juliet thing  
Minhyuk: isn’t it like a breath of fresh air, Jihoon?  
Jihoon: mm  
Minhyuk: honestly, I thought Taeil would be the first to move out  
Minhyuk: you can walk around naked all you want in your own place  
Kyung: uh, like us being here has EVER stopped him  
Kyung: besides, he has all his fish nearby  
Kyung: he can’t leave  
Taeil: like i’d want to  
Taeil: i have everything I need here  
Jaehyo: except Jihoon  
Jihoon: HYUNGS

//

Kyung: Jiho vanished again  
Kyung: anyone wanna go visit him with me?  
Jihoon: hyung you know he gets mad when we interrupt  
Kyung: yeah but it’s been like  
Kyung: two days  
Yukwon: i’m in  
Yukwon: i’m close too I just finished practice  
Kyung: that means minhyuk’s with you too right  
Minhyuk: yep  
Taeil: kyung I’ll drive you there  
Kyung: Jaehyo? Jihoon?  
Jihoon: i’ll bring food  
Jaehyo: sigh  
Jaehyo: i’m in

Jiho: thanks for the visit guys  
Jiho: i needed that  
Jihoon: yeah it was fun  
Jihoon: when you stopped screaming at Kyung  
Yukwon: couple fights are so awkward  
Kyung: stop rubbing it in our faces that you and sunhye are perfect and never fight  
Yukwon: couples aren’t meant to scream at each other  
Taeil: to be far you’re not dating park kyung  
Yukwon: thank god for that  
Minhyuk: can I crash at the dorm  
Kyung: YES MINHYUKKIE HYUNG  
Minhyuk: on second thought  
Kyung: TOO LATE  
Jihoon: watch out Jiho  
Taeil: oh god that’s like waving a red flag at a bull  
Yukwon: yep i’m out  
Kyung: go home to ur perfect life  
Jihoon: bye


	3. "prayer circle for jaehyo"

Kyung: soooo  
Kyung: are we gonna talk about that kiss that happened a few weeks ago  
Minhyuk: you’re going to have to elaborate on who was kissing who  
Jihoon: …  
Kyung: Jihoon and Taeil of course  
Kyung: Jihoon’s dreams coming true  
Minhyuk: ohhh  
Jiho: that one  
Jihoon: hyungs  
Jaehyo: Jihoon’s ears are going red  
Kyung: where’s Taeil  
Kyung: I can see he’s reading this  
Kyung: or maybe that’s Yukwon  
Minhyuk: no Yukwon’s out  
Jiho: Taeil  
Jiho: Lee Taeil  
Taeil: show some respect to your hyung  
Jaehyo: uh oh  
Kyung: but forreal what happened  
Taeil: do you really want to know?  
Jiho: yes  
Kyung: yes  
Minhyuk: yes  
Jaehyo: hell yes  
Taeil: he accosted me  
Taeil: it was cute  
Jihoon: hyung pls  
Taeil: i can’t even remember what I was angry about but I stormed up there ready to tear him a new one  
Kyung: ;)  
Taeil: and then he just grabbed me and kissed me and said something about getting it over and done with  
Taeil: and I smacked him and said what the fuck are you doing  
Jihoon: HYUNG PLS  
Taeil: and he went all red and showed me the message I’d sent  
Taeil: and I realised  
Jaehyo: Jihoon has keeled over now  
Kyung: WELL? IS THERE ANY KISSING TO BE HAD IN THE FUTURE?  
Minhyuk: lol  
Jaehyo: he’s making garbled noises   
Kyung: h o n e s t l y if these chats got leaked we would be fucked  
Minhyuk: yeah  
Minhyuk: I’m the only pure one  
Jaehyo: um, and me  
Minhyuk: you kissed Jiho once so you don’t count  
Taeil: Jaehyo’s Gay Experience™  
Jaehyo: yeah well you had one too  
Taeil: who said I only had one?  
Kyung: holy shit  
Kyung: what colour is Jihoon now  
Jaehyo: a particularly vibrant shade of purple

//

Jihoon: are tomatoes a fruit  
Jihoon: Mino needs to know  
Kyung: are you doing bar trivia again  
Jihoon: yes  
Jaehyo: yes tomatoes are a fruit  
Jihoon: what the hell  
Jihoon: >:(  
Jihoon: they look nothing like fruits  
Minhyuk: fruits come in all different shapes and sizes   
Jihoon: NOT TOMATO SHAPED  
Kyung: where’s my invite  
Jihoon: got lost in the mail <3  
Kyung: aish  
Kyung: little shit

Jaehyo: strawberries are a vegetable  
Kyung: wot  
Jaehyo: they are  
Jaehyo: i read it on the internet  
Kyung: they’re not  
Kyung: back me up guys  
Taeil: yeah no they’re definitely a fruit  
Jaehyo: if tomatoes can be a fruit, strawberries can be a vegetable  
Jaehyo: it makes sense  
Jiho: no it doesn’t  
Taeil: just admit you’re wrong  
Jaehyo: i’m not though  
Yukwon: look at what wikipedia says  
Yuwkon: The garden strawberry is a widely grown hybrid species of the genus Fragaria (collectively known as the strawberries). It is cultivated worldwide for its fruit.  
Taeil: fruit   
Minhyuk: not vegetable  
Taeil: I worry about our Jaehyo sometimes  
Jiho: me too  
Taeil: remember when he thought cruise control meant the car completely drove itself  
Jiho: that was scary   
Jaehyo: THEY’RE A VEGETABLE  
Minhyuk: NO THEYRE NOT  
Jiho: THEY ARE NOT  
Taeil: NO  
Yukwon: no they’re not  
Jihoon: woah my phone blew up what happened  
Taeil: hyo being dumb again  
Jaehyo: oh  
Jaehyo: y’all are right  
Jaehyo: :(   
Taeil: honestly  
Taeil: hyonestly  
Jiho: eugh that was a bad pun  
Jihoon: i laughed   
Jiho: you laugh at everything  
Jihoon: true

 

//

Jihoon: sorry hyungs ㅠㅠ i just woke up and I’m feeling really sick, so I don’t think i’ll be able to come to dance practice today  
Kyung: hahahaha  
Jaehyo: lmao  
Minhyuk: Jihoonie  
Minhyuk: the choreo isn’t even that hard  
Yukwon: conduct zero was harder and you did fine  
Jiho: Jihoon I know you’re not sick  
Jiho: get your ass to the studio or else   
Taeil: or else what?  
Jiho: you’re not getting out of it either so don’t even try  
Kyung: i wish i could verify those claims but i’m already en route  
Taeil: I haven’t left yet  
Jiho: go get him  
Taeil: but  
Jiho: hyung please  
Jihoon: but I really am sick :( don’t send Taeil hyung around, he’ll get sick too  
Taeil: i’ll wear a mask, dummy  
Taeil: see you in a few

Taeil: ok yeah no he actually is sick  
Jiho: oh  
Jiho: sorry Jihoonie   
Jiho: you’ve just pulled this boy who cried wolf shit too many times  
Yukwon: what’s wrong with him?  
Minhyuk: unless his limbs are falling off he can still dance  
Taeil: leave him be  
Kyung: hm  
Jaehyo: hmm  
Kyung: hmmm  
Taeil: he’s throwing up the poor thing  
Kyung: holy shit did you just say “the poor thing”  
Kyung: someone screenshot  
Taeil: i’ll stay back to take care of him  
Jiho: of course you will  
Minhyuk: we’ll learn a super cool move that you two will miss out on  
Yukwon: heh

Kyung: okay  
Kyung: I just  
Kyung: okay  
Jaehyo: what?  
Kyung: I went round to Jihoon’s to check on him  
Kyung: ‘cause he and Taeil weren’t saying anything  
Jiho: am I going to have to pay up?  
Minhyuk: omg  
Kyung: and they were curled up in bed together asleep  
Kyung: it was the cutest thing look I took a picture  
Jiho: holy shit   
Jaehyo: wow  
Kyung: i left them in peace   
Kyung: but I sense some money making its way to me soon from Jiho’s pocket

//

Kyung: oh god  
Kyung: JAEHYO  
Kyung: AHN JAEHYO  
Jihoon: why are you screaming  
Taeil: JAEHYO PLEASE  
Jihoon: what’s going on  
Taeil: Jaehyo left his phone connected to the dorm speakers via bluetooth  
Taeil: and is now watching some porn in his room  
Taeil: on the same phone  
Kyung: I CAN’T GO IN WHAT IF HE’S JACKING OFF  
Taeil: we’re in the living room  
Taeil: it’s so loud  
Jihoon: ohhh  
Jiho: rofl he did that at the old dorm once, remember?  
Jihoon: jaehyo hyung u need to sort out ur devices :(  
Jiho: you’re one to talk, you break your phone all the time  
Kyung: JAEHYO PLEASE THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD  
Kyung: it’s straight porn I think  
Kyung: or a really girly twink  
Yukwon: ...sigh  
Taeil: damn this is kinky  
Kyung: JAEHYO  
Jaehyo: RIGHT YES SORRY OKAY  
Jiho: lol  
Jaehyo: sorry about that  
Kyung: OH GOD  
Kyung: NOW HE’S PLAYING FREEZE  
Kyung: HE’S LOCKED THE DOOR  
Kyung: TAEIL HYUNG  
Taeil: IM GOING  
Jihoon: rest in pieces, Jaehyo  
Kyung: I wish I could say he would be dearly missed   
Kyung: but Taeil is about to peel his skin from his flesh so I don’t think that would go over well  
Jihoon: i’ll pray for him  
Jiho: prayer circle for Jaehyo


	4. "I'll buy you a Porsche if you move in with me"

Jihoon: who’s up?  
Jiho: me  
Jiho: what’s up?  
Jihoon: can’t sleep  
Jihoon: i’m still not used to being alone  
Jihoon: and I can’t crawl into taeil hyung’s bed :(  
Jiho: go make yourself a hot chocolate and have a cigarette  
Jiho: you’ll feel better  
Jihoon: ok :(  
Taeil: you shouldn’t encourage him to smoke  
Jiho: let the kid have his vices  
Jiho: since you’re not there to calm him  
Taeil: :/

//

Jaehyo: have you guys noticed that Taeil takes better care of his fish than he does of us  
Kyung: yes  
Kyung: he talks to them in aegyo voice  
Kyung: it’s gross  
Taeil: it’s not my job to take care of you  
Taeil: that’s Jiho’s  
Jiho: you still have a responsibility as the eldest  
Taeil: meh  
Jihoon: taeil hyung is so cute with his fishies  
Jaehyo: I wouldn’t call it cute  
Kyung: vomit-inducing maybe  
Jaehyo: oh god he just reached in and patted one  
Jihoon: why are you guys with him?  
Kyung: we’re going to see a movie and he insisted on stopping off on the way  
Jihoon: where’s my invite :(  
Kyung: you shouldn’t have moved out of the dorm if you wanted an invite  
Jihoon :(  
Jiho: what movie though  
Yukwon: don’t go Jiho, you need to work  
Jiho: :(  
Jihoon: it’s ok hyung  
Jihoon: we’ll go off and do something cool together that doesn’t involve fish or movies  
Jiho: sounds good

//

Kyung: guys  
Kyung: we need to meet up and go out  
Kyung: I haven’t seen all of us as a proper group for ages  
Minhyuk: maybe that’s intentional  
Kyung: please  
Kyung: you miss us  
Kyung: you just drown your sorrows in dancing  
Minhyuk: uh huh  
Jihoon: I’M IN  
Jaehyo: the resident alcoholic appears  
Jihoon: i’m not an alcoholic :(  
Kyung: yeah he’s a pretty normal twenty three year old  
Jiho: I suppose I could drag myself away from the studio  
Kyung: you don’t have a choice, I would have come and dragged you myself  
Taeil: will we play never have I ever again  
Yukwon: pls no  
Jihoon: YES  
Jihoon: although Kyungie hyung always loses  
Jaehyo: I’m in  
Jaehyo: let’s do it at the dorm  
Kyung: tomorrow night? Sound good?  
Yukwon: yeah  
Yukwon: can I bring sunhye?  
Kyung: no make it a boys’ night  
Jiho: that just guarantees someone is going to end up naked and locked outside again  
Kyung: exactly  
Jihoon: i’m in  
Minhyuk: if I must  
Taeil: sure  
Kyung: notice how Taeil said yes when nudity was mentioned  
Taeil: pfft  
Taeil: it’s not out of any desire to see any of you naked, trust me  
Taeil: i’ve seen it all before  
Kyung: idk  
Kyung: what if it’s Jihoon getting naked?  
Jihoon: HYUNG  
Minhyuk: lol

//

Yukwon: I am never  
Yukwon: EVER  
Yuwkon: coming over for a night of drinking and debauchery again  
Kyung: it wasn’t even debauchery on your part  
Minhyuk: Kyung  
Minhyuk: you and Jiho started making out in the middle of the lounge room floor  
Kyung: did we? I don’t recall  
Jaehyo: it was gross  
Jaehyo: but also hilarious  
Minhyuk: you guys were so into it you didn’t notice when we started stacking toilet paper rolls on your back  
Jihoon: my head donest even hrut  
Minhyuk: that’s because you’re still drunk  
Jihoon: did you ugys knwo  
Jihoon: taeil hyungs lisp  
Jihoon: lisp  
Jihoon: L I P s  
Jihoon: are reealy soft  
Kyung: … oh my god  
Jiho: LMAO  
Jiho: DO I HAVE TO PAY UP?  
Jihoon: idon tknow  
Minhyuk: when did this happen? I don’t remember the two of them sneaking off  
Yukwon: I do  
Yuwkon: I saw it  
Jiho: WHAT HAPPENED  
Kyung: TELL US  
Yukwon: no  
Yukwon: let them do it  
Yukwon :)  
Jaehyo: you can’t just say that and not tell  
Jaehyo: where’s Taeil  
Kyung: still sleeping  
Kyung: he is just a lump under the blankets  
Kyung: I can see his phone vibrating on his bedside table  
Jiho: wake him up  
Kyung: I don’t want to die, thanks

//

Jiho: i’m so hungry :(  
Jihoon: me too  
Jihoon: dieting sucks  
Jaehyo: look on the positive side guys  
Jaehyo: we’re having a comeback  
Jaehyo: this is good  
Kyung: i totally cheated yesterday and ate a whole bar of chocolate  
Jiho: god  
Jiho: don’t talk about chocolate  
Kyung: i mean if you wanted some  
Kyung: i could eat another bar and then we could make out  
Jihoon: gross  
Kyung: so you could get the taste without the calories  
Jiho: yes please  
Jaehyo: wow  
Jaehyo: i’m so hungry that that offer is actually appealing  
Kyung: the offer is not extended to you, dumbass  
Jaehyo: well I’d also rather die than kiss you  
Kyung: just get Jiho to do it  
Kyung: since you liked kissing him so much last time  
Jaehyo: IT WAS FUCKING ONCE  
Jiho: he wasn’t even that good  
Yukwon: this is wild  
Jaehyo: fuck you jiho  
Kyung: jagiya what flavour do you want  
Jiho: can you get a kit kat  
Kyung: sure  
Kyung: leaving now

//

Jihoon: [link]  
Jihoon: shit  
Jihoon: SHIT  
Jihoon: DONT LOOK AT THAT  
Jihoon: NO ONE LOOK AT THAT  
Kyung: Jihoon  
Kyung: what the fuck  
Jihoon: I WANTED TO PASTE SOMETHING ELSE  
Jiho: is  
Jiho: that’s porn  
Jiho: you’re fucking sending porn to the group chat  
Jaehyo: it’s gay porn i’m not clicking on it  
Kyung: i’ll take one for the team  
Minhyuk: lmfao nice  
Yukwon: I opened this chat  
Yukwon: saw that  
Yukwon: and now I am going to close this chat  
Kyung: damn Jihoonie  
Jaehyo: what  
Jihoon: HYUNG PLEASE DON’T WATCH IT  
Jihoon: IT’S NOT EVEN MINE  
Jihoon: SOMEONE SENT IT TO ME  
Jaehyo: which of your “friends” sent you gay porn huh  
Kyung: this is hilarious  
Jiho: what is it  
Kyung: and kinda hot  
Jiho: I would click on it but Jiyong is here  
Kyung: one of the guys has tattoos looooool  
Jihoon: HYU N G  
Kyung: and is short and stocky  
Jiho: REALLY  
Kyung: yeah  
Kyung: he’s bending the other one over  
Jaehyo: DON’T  
Jaehyo: go make a guys-who-like-guys chat  
Jiho: oh Taeil’s reading this  
Jihoon: i’m sorry everyone  
Kyung: don’t be  
Kyung: this is the highlight of my day  
Taeil: what the heck  
Taeil: Jihoon  
Taeil: HEY JIHOON  
[Jihoon has left the chatroom]  
Jiho: HAHAHAH YOU DROVE HIM AWAY  
Jiho: HE’S TOO SCARED  
Jaehyo: he’s probably crying  
Kyung: ok but this is really hot though

//

Kyung: has it been long enough?  
Minhyuk: it’s been like 4 hours  
Minhyuk: surely he’ll have calmed down by now  
Kyung: ok  
[Kyung invited Jihoon]  
Jihoon: hyung :(  
Kyung: don’t worry  
Kyung: the conversation moved on  
Kyung: we’re talking about Taeil’s car now  
Taeil: they’re saying it’s ridiculous  
Jaehyo: well it is  
Jaehyo: you barely come up to my nipples and yet you drive a monster truck  
Minhyuk: please with the hyperbole  
Kyung: he’s just compensating  
Jiho: you have shit taste Kyung you can’t comment  
Kyung: well not everyone can afford a porsche  
Yukwon: who cares they’re just cars they all look the same  
Jiho: i’ll buy you a porsche if you move in with me  
Jaehyo: well boys  
Jaehyo: that’s our cue to leave  
Jihoon: I suddenly remembered I have to turn my phone off now~ bye!  
Minhyuk: peace  
Jiho: Kyung?  
Jiho: god damn it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would just like to say that the great majority of this fic was written in my criminology lectures and I just found out i got a distinction for criminology SOOOOO take this as a life lesson: write fic in uni


	5. "hey jagiya I just douched, you free tonight?"

Jiho: Jaehyo  
Jiho: stop picking at your lips  
Jaehyo: what the hell  
Jaehyo: how did you know  
Kyung: it’s a spidey sense thing  
Kyung: “oh! I felt a tingle! Jaehyo’s picking at his lips!”  
Jaehyo: i’d rather not make jiho feel any tingles thanks  
Taeil: it’s because you’re doing it all the time  
Taeil: this is our strategy to get you to stop  
Jihoon: yeah, the makeup noonas already nag at you but it doesn’t work  
Jaehyo: i can’t help it  
Jiho: we’ll see about that

//

Jiho: where’s Kyung?  
Jihoon: has he wandered off again?  
Jiho: I think so  
Jiho: I think he took manager hyung with him  
Jaehyo: that’s not fair :(  
Jaehyo: there will be heaps more photos of him now  
Taeil: you’re wrapped up like a mummy why do you care?  
Minhyuk: and you bolted to the lounge as fast as you could  
Jaehyo: I have a pimple on my forehead  
Minhyuk: did you use the cream I gave you  
Jaehyo: no I left it at home  
Jiho: boarding is in 20 minutes  
Kyung: I know  
Jihoon: ah, he appears  
Jiho: we’re all waiting for you in the lounge can you hurry up  
Kyung: but I look really really good today  
Kyung: I want my fansites to appreciate that  
Jaehyo: hang on let me tweet  
Jaehyo: ‘guys, take photos of anything else except kyung. the walls, the floor, the ceiling…’  
Kyung: you are such an asshole  
Jiho: we do not have time for a twitter fight right now  
Kyung: alright  
Kyung: one more lap

//

Taeil: do you guys know how fucking annoying it is  
Taeil: to have to listen to someone playing the guitar really badly  
Taeil: ALL FUCKING NIGHT  
Kyung: no :-)  
Kyung: I don’t :-)  
Taeil: STOP rubbing it in that you practically live at Jiho’s now  
Jaehyo: oh, come on, i’m not that bad  
Yukwon: yeah you are

//

Kyung: guys  
Kyung: GUYS  
Kyung: look what Jihoon and I did  
Jihoon: hehehehehehe  
Jihoon: [picture]  
Yukwon: Taeil is actually going to murder the both of you when he wakes up  
Yukwon: I assume he’s sleeping and that’s how he got so still  
Jihoon: yeah  
Kyung: he fell asleep with his hand draped over the end of the sofa  
Kyung: and I found a bottle of black nail polish in my room  
Jihoon: the rest is history  
Minhyuk: you got any black lipstick in there too?  
Kyung: god what kind of person do you take me for  
Minhyuk: clearly someone who has black nail polish in his room…  
Kyung: fuck off  
Yukwon: okay but let me guess. Jihoon is staring at Taeil with a gross dopey expression on his face while he sleeps  
Kyung: yep  
Jihoon: hyungs :(  
Kyung: oh shit he’s stirring we gotta go  
Yukwon: I’ll prepare a speech for your joint funerals now

Kyung: well that was anticlimactic  
Kyung: me and Jihoon hid in the bedroom and watched him  
Jihoon: he just got up and looked at his hand and said ‘huh’ and shrugged  
Jihoon: and then went to get food  
Taeil: I don’t mind it  
Taeil: Maybe I’ll paint my other hand to match  
Kyung: you emo fuck  
Kyung: if you do Jihoon will copy you  
Jihoon: HYUNG  
Yukwon: no joint funeral? Damn  
Yukwon: my speech was really nice too

//

Kyung: hey jagiya I just douched, you free tonight?  
Kyung: wait  
Kyung: shit  
Jihoon: what’s a douche  
Minhyuk: oh my god  
Minhyuk: at least we know now who bottoms and who tops  
Taeil: oh come on as if it wasn’t obvious before  
Minhyuk: lol true  
Kyung: I would say I’m sorry but I’m not lol  
Jihoon: hyungs what’s douching  
Minhyuk: honestly Kyung you’re revolting  
Kyung: EXCUSE YOU  
Kyung: how is that revolting??? I take care of myself  
Jihoon: seriously what’s a douche??!  
Taeil: hang on Jihoon I’ll tell you in private  
Minhyuk: now look what you’ve done Kyung  
Minhyuk: you’re corrupting the innocent  
Kyung: when Jihoon still lived in the dorm I walked in on him jacking off to gay porn like three times  
Kyung: he’s not innocent  
Yukwon: why do you guys get revolting when I’m out with Sunhye? She keeps looking at my phone and asking me what’s going on  
Yukwon: I don’t know how to tell her we’re discussing Kyung’s clean asshole  
Kyung: tell her we’re discussing rimming instead  
Yukwon: that’s IT  
Yukwon: goodbye  
Jihoon: okay so Taeil explained it to me  
Jihoon: that’s gross  
Kyung: better get used to it if you ever wanna hook up with Taeil  
Jihoon: HYUNG  
Jihoon: I’M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS  
Kyung: my clean ass :)  
Jiho: yeah come over  
Jiho: but double check who the fuck you’re messaging next time  
Kyung: sure bb  
Kyung: i’ll be right over as soon as i’m finished getting my ass beaten  
Jiho: don’t have too much fun ;)

//

Jihoon: help  
Jihoon: is anyone awake?  
Jihoon: the storm woke me up and i’m scared :c  
Taeil: are you okay?  
Jihoon: i think so  
Jiho: Jihoonie are you under the blankets?  
Jihoon: yeah  
Taeil: don’t worry, it will pass  
Taeil: want me to call you in the meantime?  
Jihoon: yeah  
Taeil: ok

//

Taeil: I swear to GOD Jaehyo  
Taeil: if I hear you doing another insta live at 6 am again I will throw your phone off the balcony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not going to be writing any more of this fic (probably) or any other fic for block b as I've fallen out of fandom, but I found the doc for this when I was trolling through google drive the other day and decided to upload what I had. it's barely a half-chapter, and it's unfinished, but I hope yall enjoy it anyway.


End file.
